‘I Felt Like an Imposter’: How I Overcame Baby Blues After a Traumatic Birth Experience

Thrive • Apr 27, 2021

Below, find a perinatal mental health recovery story from a former Thrive client.

I’m a first-time mom who had a wildly traumatic birth and postpartum experience. My baby was born in the car on the way to the hospital. I needed surgery and anesthesia to repair the extensive tear. My baby had jaundice and an extended hospital stay. Then, I was hospitalized a second time for a serious infection and other complications. After such a wild, chaotic, completely unexpected birth and subsequent hospital stay, I felt utterly broken and shattered into a million pieces. I felt like an imposter. I also wasn’t bonding with my precious new baby.

On the day we drove home from the hospital (the second time), my mother came to stay with us to “help with the baby” for three weeks. We have quite the strained relationship, and I wasn’t coping with her visit at all. I was in total survival mode to the point where I couldn’t dress, nurse, bathe, or diaper change my baby without help from another adult. I felt like a complete failure. “I should know how to do this stuff. I’m his mom!” I thought at the time. Add in all the sleep deprivation, around-the-clock nursing, trying to remember to take a shower and eat, and endlessly asking, “How do I get this baby to sleep?!” And on and on. It’s no wonder I developed severe anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

I was no stranger to talk therapy and had been seeing a different therapist shortly before becoming pregnant. I knew I wanted to see someone who specialized in perinatal mood disorders (baby blues), who could help me process this unbelievable birth story so that I could move on with my life. I needed someone who had walked other women through their own birth and postpartum experiences.

I found Thrive Wellness of Reno through a friend of a friend of my midwife and immediately reached out for help. Of course, this was right around Thanksgiving and the subsequent holiday rush, so the next available appointment was a month away. That was the longest month of my life. I was literally counting down the days until my appointment when I would finally be able to talk with a professional about what the hell happened to me!

At long last, that first appointment finally arrived, and I was almost giddy with anticipation and excitement. I wanted to get right to work! I was ready to focus on myself (at least for that one hour), and I was looking forward to leaving the house by myself.

I was a bit apprehensive as well since I had never met Kat Geiger, LCSW, CEDS, the owner of Thrive Wellness who would be my therapist. But as soon as I walked in, I felt right at ease. The waiting area had these gorgeous, ocean blue couches, a fish tank, soft music playing in the background, and a calming, cream circle rug on the floor. I loved all the care and attention to detail that went into setting up the cozy, tasteful space.

Kat walked in with a big, warm smile and welcoming presence and ushered me back to her office. She specializes in maternal mental health, and I came to love plopping down on that couch, ready to unburden my soul. I remember Kat going through her usual “let’s-get-to-know-each-other” intake questions, and I just had to interrupt because I desperately needed to share my birth story with her. I didn’t want to run out of time. (It was a long list of bullet points by that time).

Kat was very gracious and accommodating and allowed me the time right then and there to retell my birth story. She showed deep empathy, understanding, and compassion towards me, starting from that very first appointment. For the first time in a month, I felt like I was breathing fresh, cleansing air. She heard me. She saw me. She validated the treacherous journey I had been on thus far. I felt myself physically relax during that appointment.

During our initial session and the ones that followed, Kat Geiger was truly my lighthouse in the dark, stormy season that was my postpartum. Her unwavering empathy, support, and encouragement were exactly what I needed. She always validated my experiences and helped me come to view those moments from a new, less reactive perspective. I learned actionable strategies to help me cope hour-by-hour and day-to-day. Kat went above and beyond to make sure I was managing okay, even offering to do phone call appointments while she was out of town. Kat provided a safe haven to share anything and everything that I was going through or worrying about. She also shared bits of her own personal story which helped me feel more connected and less isolated.

I learned that we may never know why certain events happen the way that they do, but we get to choose what happens next. We get to write the ending. I allowed myself the time to grieve for the birth I had dreamed of, and all the emotions that came with that. I learned how to set boundaries with family members and that it’s healthy to do so. I learned how to stand up for myself and trust myself more. I learned how to ask for what I need. I am forever grateful for my time with Kat and Thrive Wellness. I am now able to be the parent I’ve always dreamed of being, and I truly feel alive again.

The post ‘I Felt Like an Imposter’: How I Overcame Baby Blues After a Traumatic Birth Experience first appeared on Thrive Wellness.

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Clean House, Healthy Mind: Spring Cleaning Benefits for Mental Health

By Sage Tippie • 23 Apr, 2024

Spring Cleaning Benefits for Mental Health Spring is a time of new beginnings, change, and transitions, including in our homes. With the warmer weather kicking motivation into high gear, Spring can be a prime time to do a deep clean. Not only is a clean space aesthetically pleasing to the eyes, but it can also help to improve your mental health. Learn about how tidying up your space can also tidy up your thoughts below along with tips for cleaning when you’re struggling with your mental health. 4 Reasons Why Cleaning is Beneficial to Mental health 1.Decreased Stress Not only does an uncluttered space provide a sense of calm, but the physical act of cleaning can release feel-good endorphins, reducing feelings of stress and anxiety. As you cross tasks off your checklist, your body also releases Dopamine. Also known as the “happy hormone”, Dopamine provides a sense of accomplishment and pride that can promote motivation in other areas of our lives. 2. Improved Focus Studies have shown that an uncluttered space can also lead to an uncluttered mind. Your focus can be drawn away from important tasks by a chaotic, messy space. Research has also shown a connection between procrastination and clutter, as an unwillingness to tackle larger chores like cleaning can translate over into various areas of our lives. By keeping your space tidy, it can inspire you to stay on top of other major tasks like work and school assignments. 3. Regulated Emotions According to this 2015 study , cleaning can function as a practice in mindfulness, providing an increased sense of calm and inspiration. Slowing down while cleaning gives you room to relax and free your mind of burdens, stressors, and irritants that can affect your mental health. Cleaning can even be considered a practice of self-care as the action helps you to connect with yourself and the outcome allows you to better enjoy your own space. 4. Sense of Order and Control When experiencing mental health struggles, people may feel a lack of control over their lives and emotions. Cleaning even small areas of the home can provide an increased sense of order and control as you cross tasks off your to-do list. Through realizing your own power by simply completing minor tasks like cleaning, it can reaffirm your ability to do more. 10 Tips for Cleaning When Struggling with Mental Health Mental health struggles and disorders commonly create barriers to one’s ability to clean and properly practice personal hygiene. Although these behaviors are normal side effects of mental health disorders, we want to work to aid our clients in cleaning to the best of their ability even in difficult times. Below, Thrive Wellness occupational therapist Meadow Deason shares some helpful tips she gives to clients when they struggle with cleaning due to mental health conditions: 1.Ask For Help Having support to clean can make a huge difference. Do the cleaning with the person helping you and have them hold you accountable. 2. Don't Wait for Motivation Motivation might not come before action, but it can build as you begin to see the results of your efforts. 3. Start Small Start with one area or one task and go from there. For example, concentrate on your bedroom first and then move on to the living room and bathroom. 4. Do Something Daily Even if you do only one small cleaning task a day, doing that one task creates momentum and prevents small tasks from building up and becoming overwhelming. 5. Use Sensory Modulation Change your environment by playing music, adjusting the lighting, or using aromatherapy. This can help to put you in a new headspace for cleaning. 6. Start with "High Impact" Tasks Start with more intensive or all-over cleaning tasks such as picking up clutter or doing the dishes. The visual "noise" of some tasks makes a large impact on the entire space, building motivation to continue cleaning. 7. Make a To-Do List Write a detailed to-do list of tasks and cross them off as you go. Physically marking down what you’ve accomplished can promote increased motivation. 8. Reward Yourself Set up a reward system where you reward yourself with a favorite activity or item when you complete a task as an incentive to clean. 9. Use the Rocket Method Don't think about it, just choose a task, countdown from five or ten and then start. This can help you to avoid potential anxiety and dread that can prevent you from cleaning. 10. Gamify Tasks Make up a game for your tasks or time yourself to promote increased engagement in cleaning. Your ability to complete tasks can be affected by a multitude of different factors and conditions including OCD , anxiety, depression , ADHD , and more. If you are struggling with motivation due to your mental health, help is here at Thrive Wellness.

child getting bandaid from doctor while mother smiles

The Importance of Whole Family Primary Care: A Q&A with Dr. Stephanie Wright

26 Mar, 2024

By serving the whole family, physicians are able to have a better understanding of family dynamics, family health care goals, and history of disease in the family.