Staying Mentally Healthy in Fatherhood: A Q&A With Thrive Wellness Reno Therapist Brett Glanzmann, MFT

Thrive • Jun 19, 2022

Many fathers understandably struggle to keep up with the demands of marriage, parenthood, employment, and their other responsibilities. Popular misleading messages surrounding the role of fathers as stoic, strong, and capable providers discourage many from seeking support for mental health concerns. Therapy, however, can be vital to not only a father’s well-being, but their entire family’s well-being. Learn more about paternal mental health in this perceptive Q&A with Thrive Wellness Reno Therapist Brett Glanzmann, MFT.

What mental health concerns do fathers commonly face?

Time, physical energy, and emotional energy are limited resources. When a family experiences a sudden increase in the demand for those resources, fathers may find it difficult to “keep all the plates spinning.” In order to conserve more time and energy for parenthood, fathers often sacrifice their self-care and replenishing activities, which places them at risk for mental health concerns. Many of my clients in fatherhood report lack of sleep , stress, anxiety , and depression .

The mental health struggles of single fathers are similar to those of partnered fathers except that their stresses can be magnified and their resources can be limited. Research s hows that single fathers are twice as likely to report poor mental and physical health as fathers with partners. While single mothers tend to have more financial stress, single fathers carry more caregiving stress.

What are some contributing factors to the mental health challenges experienced by fathers?

Fathers frequently feel overwhelmed by what feels like having “the weight of the world” on their shoulders. Some report experiencing a loss of control over their lives and immediate environments. Many work during the day and arrive home in the evening to help with household tasks and parenting duties. They may only find time for themselves after everyone else has gone to sleep. When alone, they might engage in unhealthy “escapist” activities, such as excessively playing video games, watching television for hours into the night, or turning to substance use. These engagements may temporarily distract them from their worries, but do little to nourish their well-being. Fathers may also work extended hours because it feels less stressful than being at home.

Another source of paternal mental health concerns is the changing nature of the partner relationship. As time and energy are diverted toward their children, many couples are unable to prioritize their relationships. Typically, the amount of quality time couples spend together decreases and sexual activity is put on hold. As a result, marital satisfaction can decline and conflict can heighten.

Regarding single fathers, many are less than confident in their abilities to comfort their children through struggles and lack another person to share the emotional burden with. Often, single fathers face additional stress resulting from disagreements and custody disputes with their children’s biological mothers. Further, single fathers who care for their children full-time may be incredibly hard-pressed to find time to relax and recharge on their own.

Why might some fathers be hesitant to seek mental health support?

In childhood, boys are commonly told to “man up” and “walk it off” when faced with distressing circumstances. Many learn to adopt the mistaken narrative that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. This cultural conditioning can prevent developing males and grown men from acknowledging and communicating their feelings, particularly those that are troublesome. Fathers may feel as if they must adhere to the culturally prescribed paternal identity of “protector of the family.” Due to these prominent ideas about masculinity and fatherhood, many fathers place their partners’ and child(ren’s) mental, emotional, and physical well-being before their own.

A stigma exists around fathers who are struggling with mental health. Fathers may be discouraged from seeking help because they feel as if they should be able to handle their own problems. Even though seeking mental health support is becoming more acceptable for women and mothers, men and fathers seem to be lagging behind in the movement for mental wellness.

How can fathers know when they should seek professional help?

When a father’s mental health deteriorates, they typically notice that other aspects of their life are negatively affected, especially their relationships with their partner and child(ren). The struggle to maintain healthy connections with those closest to them can cause their mental health to further suffer. By being honest with themselves about their struggles, fathers can disrupt this negative cycle and seek professional support before their mental health challenges become severe.

Fathers should seek mental health support when they notice:

Increased irritability
Disruptions in sleep
Diminished work performance
Increased participation in “escapist” activities, such as excessively playing video games, watching television for hours on end, or using substances.
An inability to cope with stress

Many fathers tend to minimize their struggles in relation to the concerns their partners or child(ren) may be facing, but they too deserve to address, heal, and nourish their mental health.

How can fathers benefit from receiving mental health support?

Fathers need support in their journeys just as much as anyone else. Mental health professionals can help both partnered fathers and single fathers prepare for the inevitable challenges that come with parenthood and develop strategies for balancing competing demands. In my own practice, my clients often lean on me for emotional support in their endeavor to balance their lives as they may not be able to find validation and guidance elsewhere. Therapy , both for individuals and couples, can also help single fathers and partnered fathers navigate different kinds of family systems, cultivate and maintain strong bonds within families, and ensure that both parents recognize the importance of each others’ roles in helping the family thrive.

What are some simple day-to-day practices that fathers can do to support their mental health?

Emotional energy is a limited resource, so fathers should regularly engage in activities that recharge them. These may include reading, meditating, or spending one-on-one time with their children.

Openly and honestly communicating with one’s partner or support system can also be a refreshing experience. For single fathers, it’s vital that they develop a support system, possibly made up of extended family and friends. While vulnerability may not come easily, having a few people with whom they can let down their guard can diffuse some of the pressures they face.

For fathers with partners, I recommend that they have daily check-ins with their parenting partners. During these check-ins, partners should discuss their current energy levels and any possible schedule adjustments that might be helpful.

MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT FOR FATHERS AT THRIVE WELLNESS

Mental health concerns can hinder fathers from reaching their full potential as parents, husbands, and humans. Thrive Wellness therapists can guide fathers in discovering the root causes of their mental health challenges, learning healthy coping skills, and implementing actions to encourage overall well-being. Reach out to learn more.

About the Contributor

Thrive Wellness Reno Therapist Brett Glanzmann, MFT

Brett Glanzmann, MFT, earned his master’s degree in counseling from the University of Nevada, Reno. He offers individual, couples, and family therapy, believing that people possess the resources required to maximize their quality of life. Brett has a specific passion for helping all types of couples rediscover their unique connection while growing in their communication skills. He enjoys helping his clients pursue meaning in their everyday lives, removing the obstacles that hinder growth and thriving. Brett also enjoys inclusive, faith-based counseling, having over 20 years of pastoral counseling experience in the Truckee Meadows.

The post Staying Mentally Healthy in Fatherhood: A Q&A With Thrive Wellness Reno Therapist Brett Glanzmann, MFT first appeared on Thrive Wellness.

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Clean House, Healthy Mind: Spring Cleaning Benefits for Mental Health

By Sage Tippie • 23 Apr, 2024

Spring Cleaning Benefits for Mental Health Spring is a time of new beginnings, change, and transitions, including in our homes. With the warmer weather kicking motivation into high gear, Spring can be a prime time to do a deep clean. Not only is a clean space aesthetically pleasing to the eyes, but it can also help to improve your mental health. Learn about how tidying up your space can also tidy up your thoughts below along with tips for cleaning when you’re struggling with your mental health. 4 Reasons Why Cleaning is Beneficial to Mental health 1.Decreased Stress Not only does an uncluttered space provide a sense of calm, but the physical act of cleaning can release feel-good endorphins, reducing feelings of stress and anxiety. As you cross tasks off your checklist, your body also releases Dopamine. Also known as the “happy hormone”, Dopamine provides a sense of accomplishment and pride that can promote motivation in other areas of our lives. 2. Improved Focus Studies have shown that an uncluttered space can also lead to an uncluttered mind. Your focus can be drawn away from important tasks by a chaotic, messy space. Research has also shown a connection between procrastination and clutter, as an unwillingness to tackle larger chores like cleaning can translate over into various areas of our lives. By keeping your space tidy, it can inspire you to stay on top of other major tasks like work and school assignments. 3. Regulated Emotions According to this 2015 study , cleaning can function as a practice in mindfulness, providing an increased sense of calm and inspiration. Slowing down while cleaning gives you room to relax and free your mind of burdens, stressors, and irritants that can affect your mental health. Cleaning can even be considered a practice of self-care as the action helps you to connect with yourself and the outcome allows you to better enjoy your own space. 4. Sense of Order and Control When experiencing mental health struggles, people may feel a lack of control over their lives and emotions. Cleaning even small areas of the home can provide an increased sense of order and control as you cross tasks off your to-do list. Through realizing your own power by simply completing minor tasks like cleaning, it can reaffirm your ability to do more. 10 Tips for Cleaning When Struggling with Mental Health Mental health struggles and disorders commonly create barriers to one’s ability to clean and properly practice personal hygiene. Although these behaviors are normal side effects of mental health disorders, we want to work to aid our clients in cleaning to the best of their ability even in difficult times. Below, Thrive Wellness occupational therapist Meadow Deason shares some helpful tips she gives to clients when they struggle with cleaning due to mental health conditions: 1.Ask For Help Having support to clean can make a huge difference. Do the cleaning with the person helping you and have them hold you accountable. 2. Don't Wait for Motivation Motivation might not come before action, but it can build as you begin to see the results of your efforts. 3. Start Small Start with one area or one task and go from there. For example, concentrate on your bedroom first and then move on to the living room and bathroom. 4. Do Something Daily Even if you do only one small cleaning task a day, doing that one task creates momentum and prevents small tasks from building up and becoming overwhelming. 5. Use Sensory Modulation Change your environment by playing music, adjusting the lighting, or using aromatherapy. This can help to put you in a new headspace for cleaning. 6. Start with "High Impact" Tasks Start with more intensive or all-over cleaning tasks such as picking up clutter or doing the dishes. The visual "noise" of some tasks makes a large impact on the entire space, building motivation to continue cleaning. 7. Make a To-Do List Write a detailed to-do list of tasks and cross them off as you go. Physically marking down what you’ve accomplished can promote increased motivation. 8. Reward Yourself Set up a reward system where you reward yourself with a favorite activity or item when you complete a task as an incentive to clean. 9. Use the Rocket Method Don't think about it, just choose a task, countdown from five or ten and then start. This can help you to avoid potential anxiety and dread that can prevent you from cleaning. 10. Gamify Tasks Make up a game for your tasks or time yourself to promote increased engagement in cleaning. Your ability to complete tasks can be affected by a multitude of different factors and conditions including OCD , anxiety, depression , ADHD , and more. If you are struggling with motivation due to your mental health, help is here at Thrive Wellness.

child getting bandaid from doctor while mother smiles

The Importance of Whole Family Primary Care: A Q&A with Dr. Stephanie Wright

26 Mar, 2024

By serving the whole family, physicians are able to have a better understanding of family dynamics, family health care goals, and history of disease in the family.