Defining Healthy Relationships

Thrive • August 11, 2021

There’s nothing like falling in love, which often involves embracing fear and vulnerability for a connection that lasts. After the initial rush of excitement and elation, it’s common for honeymoon phases to fade and for less fairytale-like feelings to surface, which can make a relationship more complicated. Instead of a passionate collision of hearts, loving your partner becomes a choice that can at times be uncertain, difficult, and even scary. But, as with many challenges, embracing love, for better or worse, carries its own rewards. Loving, healthy relationships can encourage each partner’s self-growth, deepen their sense of meaning, and increase the amount of joy in their lives.

Thrive therapist, Brett Glanzmann, MFTI, specializes in couples therapy . He qualifies a healthy relationship as one that allows partners to be honest and vulnerable with each other. As a result, each partner can openly express their needs and meet their partner’s needs.

SIX ELEMENTS OF A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Let’s explore some elements that form the foundations of and foster loving, healthy relationships.

INDEPENDENCE

Though your partner should add joy to your life, they should not be the only source of your happiness and self-esteem. If you put this kind of pressure on them, the relationship may falter. It’s important to remember that you are in control of your own happiness, and you should feel empowered by that knowledge. So, invest in your interests and hobbies, dedicate time to self-care , foster relationships with your friends and family, and embrace your uniqueness. At the same time, respect your partner and encourage them to do the same. You’ll both benefit.

Glanzmann emphasizes the importance of maintaining a social life outside of one’s partner. “A healthy relationship has a healthy balance of togetherness and apartness, with no one partner expecting the other to meet every emotional need. Our society exerts a lot of pressure on partners to meet all needs in a relationship, but it is vital for each partner to maintain healthy friendships outside the relationship to help carry the load,” says Glanzmann.

Your social life outside of your partner allows you to have a more dynamic perspective of yourself while also expanding your worldview. As a result, you’ll be more in tune with what makes you special, amazing, and loveable — which is what your partner was attracted to in the first place. You’ll find it easier to treasure your authenticity, find strength in it, and allow it to enrich your relationship. With a deeper sense of self, you can also add depth to your relationship.

HONESTY

Your partner can’t read your mind and won’t truly know how you’re feeling unless you tell them. Even though it might feel scary at times, you should be honest with your partner about your emotional state, relationship expectations, values, and aspirations. Expressing your innermost feelings sincerely and respectfully helps your partner understand you better, which allows you both to create a life that suits your authentic selves.

“In a healthy relationship, each partner can allow themselves to be influenced by the other, and they find ways to support each other’s endeavors and contributions in the world,” says Glanzmann.

EMPATHY

By practicing empathy, you can deepen your connection with your partner rather than creating a rift by unknowingly hurting them.

Glanzman says, “While most couples pursue counseling with a desire for ‘better communication,’ it almost always runs deeper than that. More than anything, I see couples constantly hurting each other’s feelings unintentionally, and that becomes a cycle that creates increasing emotional distance over time.”

He goes on, “I believe the root of most relationship struggles has to do with perspective. I get caught up in my own perspective — the way I think and feel about what is happening in my world, and how my partner’s behavior affects me. It takes a conscious effort to empathize with others, putting myself in their shoes to feel what they feel. Many people in a relationship have difficulty placing themselves in their partner’s shoes. So it’s easy to find ourselves stuck in negative cycles in which we not only ‘miss’ each other, but end up perpetuating the cycle that drives us apart.”

If your relationship lacks empathy, you may assume that your partner’s lens aligns with your perspective. Such assumptions may result in feeling like your partner is a stranger at times. Practicing empathy requires honest questioning and active listening, instead of assuming your partner feels the same way as you.

TRUST

Without trust, do you really have a relationship? Partners must be able to trust one another to be vulnerable and open to connection and deeper love. With every interaction, partners have the opportunity to build trust by being honest and tuning in to each other’s needs and desires with awareness, curiosity, and understanding.

COMPROMISE

When you’re single, you can curate your life according to your desires. You have control over how you spend your time, what you spend your money on, and how you map out your future. Alternatively, when you choose to build a life with a partner, your opinions and decisions affect one another and compromises are necessary. Working together to solve problems and make reasonable sacrifices for one another helps you to meet in the middle with love. Additionally, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone to compromise can provide you with new perspectives which allow you to become more in tune with your inner self and grow as a person. By finding common ground, you will also discover a deeper sense of connection with your partner.

EFFORT

To keep the spark alive, partners must actively work to make each other feel loved, appreciated, and respected. The moment partners take each other for granted, they put their relationship at risk. Just like when the relationship first began, each partner should work to be vulnerable, express their love, and carve out time for each other.

Glanzmann says, “Regular check-ins with each other are important for maintaining positive communication. In our busy society, many couples get stuck in the trap of routinely ‘getting the job done’ — accomplishing parenting tasks, work tasks, and household tasks — without much of a sense of connection. Without regular times dedicated to giving each other undivided attention, partners will naturally drift apart. The relationship can be strengthened by regular check-ins that cover the details of their life and the current state of their relationship, as well as regular dates where they can simply have fun and enjoy each other’s company.”

RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING AT THRIVE

Healthy relationships are not a given. Instead, they require work. Relationship counseling can help develop the elements necessary for building and fostering a healthy relationship. Glanzmann advocates for couples therapy as a way to both nurture healthy, loving relationships and heal deeply rooted issues within struggling relationships.

He says, “Couples counseling can provide a safe environment in which partners can investigate and identify unhelpful cycles while learning to relate in healthier ways. The counselor can serve as a sounding board, a third party who can provide an outside perspective about how the couple might be ‘missing’ each other. Often, tools can be provided that improve communication and conflict resolution. Most importantly, the couple counseling session provides an uninterrupted hour on the calendar for the couple to focus energy on improving their relationship.”

Thrive’s therapists can help you heal your relationship and discover strategies to strengthen your bond with your partner. Reach out to learn more.

The post Defining Healthy Relationships first appeared on Thrive Wellness.

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Love, Doubt, and Obsession: Understanding Relationship OCD and How to Heal Together

April 28, 2025

Romantic relationships can be one of the most joyful parts of life, but they can also stir up deep fears, especially for those living with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). When OCD takes shape around your relationship, it’s known as Relationship OCD (ROCD), a lesser-known but deeply distressing form of OCD that centers on obsessive fears and doubts about your partner or the relationship itself. Have you ever found yourself spending hours analyzing how you feel, seeking reassurance that your partner is “the one,” or constantly second-guessing whether you’re truly in love? If so, you’re not alone. ROCD is real, and with the right tools and support, healing is possible. Let’s break down what Relationship OCD really looks like, how it affects interactions, and how to find more peace, connection, and presence in your relationship. What is Relationship OCD? Relationship OCD is a subset of obsessive-compulsive disorder that fixates on doubts, fears, or perceived flaws within romantic relationships. Unlike the normal ups and downs that every couple experiences, ROCD involves a preoccupation with intrusive thoughts that feel impossible to stop thinking about, like whether you’re really attracted to your partner, or if they’re “good enough” for you. These thoughts can feel distressing, uncontrollable, and all-consuming. What sets ROCD apart is the compulsive mental checking that follows. You might replay interactions, examine your partner’s every word, or repeatedly ask friends or family members, “Do you think we’re good together?” These rituals, designed to bring relief, often do the opposite. They intensify the anxiety and begin to erode the connection you’re trying to protect. Relationship OCD Examples: What It Can Look Like in Real Life ROCD doesn’t always look the same for everyone. For some, it shows up as intense anxiety about having children with their partner: “What if they’re not going to be a good parent?” For others, it might revolve around analyzing every interaction or feeling jealous of a past relationship their partner had. Here are a few common presentations of ROCD: “Do I love them enough? ” spirals, even when nothing’s wrong. Feeling distressed if your partner doesn’t respond the “right” way during a conversation. Constantly seeking reassurance from others about your relationship. Comparing your partner to idealized versions of relationships you see online. Avoiding important conversations or decisions (like parent-child planning) because of underlying doubts. The key thing to remember? These thoughts are symptoms of OCD, not reflections of reality. How OCD Affects Relationships ROCD can strain even the strongest partnerships. When someone is stuck in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions, it often leads to emotional distance, communication breakdowns, and frustration on both sides. A partner might feel like they’re walking on eggshells or like they’re being constantly evaluated. Meanwhile, the person experiencing ROCD may feel ashamed, misunderstood, or exhausted by their own mind. Many individuals report feeling like they can’t be fully present during time with their partner because their mind is so busy analyzing, comparing, or worrying. And over time, these patterns can impact the health of the relationship itself. That’s why relationship-centered, mental health-informed approaches are so vital. How to Treat Relationship OCD Thankfully, ROCD is treatable. But the most effective treatments don’t just focus on the relationship, they focus on the OCD. At Thrive, our therapists often use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and a specialized approach called Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy (ERP) . These modalities help people face their fears without performing compulsions. Over time, this rewires the brain’s response to uncertainty. Therapists may also incorporate experiential techniques like eye movement desensitization and reprocessing, which engage both the body and mind to help clients process intrusive thoughts and emotional pain. For some, prescription medication like SSRIs may be helpful as part of a treatment plan. For couples navigating ROCD together, couples counseling can support healthy communication and connection without reinforcing compulsions. How to Support a Partner with Relationship OCD If your partner is experiencing ROCD, your role is crucial. It's not about "fixing" them though, it’s about being a safe, steady presence. Here are a few ways to support your partner with ROCD: Educate yourself about OCD and ROCD so you can identify symptoms versus your partner’s true feelings. Avoid reassurance loops . It’s tempting to soothe their fears, but constant reassurance can reinforce the cycle. Encourage professional support with a therapist or psychologist experienced in OCD. Focus on building a relationship where uncertainty is tolerated, not feared. Practice empathy. Remember that these thoughts are distressing and involuntary. With the right tools and support, both of you can learn how to thrive even in the midst of mental health challenges. Final Thoughts: Healing Together ROCD can feel isolating and confusing, but you don’t have to face it alone. Whether you’re the one struggling or the one supporting, healing happens through community, compassion, and the right care. At Thrive Wellness, we believe in compassionate, holistic care, and we’re here to walk alongside you. Whether you need individual therapy, couples counseling, or a dedicated treatment plan, we’re here to help you find your way back to connection, peace, and presence. Need support? Reach out today and begin your journey toward healing together. For tools to help you cope with anxious thoughts, download our free breathing exercises guide "Breathe Easy" .

The Connection Between OCD and Eating Disorders

April 14, 2025

Eating disorders, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) make up a triad of interrelated conditions that often coexist and influence each other in complex ways. While these mental health conditions are challenging on their own, when they co-occur, they can create significant distress and disruptions in daily life. Understanding the intricate relationship between these disorders is crucial for recognizing symptoms and seeking appropriate treatment. In this exploration into the connection between OCD, anxiety, and eating disorders, we aim to shed light on their intertwined nature and provide insights for those seeking knowledge and support. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Eating Disorders OCD eating disorders are a nuanced blend of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors centered around food and body image. Those grappling with these disorders experience an overwhelming preoccupation with eating habits, driven by intrusive thoughts that heighten anxiety levels. This anxiety not only exacerbates compulsive eating behaviors but also fuels obsessive thinking. The overlap between anxiety disorders and eating disorders is common, with many displaying symptoms of both conditions concurrently. This overlap suggests a complex connection between these mental health issues, highlighting the need for comprehensive treatment approaches that address all aspects of these disorders together. OCD and Anorexia Nervosa OCD and anorexia nervosa often co-occur, creating a dual struggle for those affected. People with both conditions experience overlapping symptoms such as intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. This dual presentation can make diagnosis and treatment more challenging. A desire for control often drives both OCD and anorexia, leading to rigid routines, rituals, and restriction surrounding food and body image that can be difficult to break. Understanding the shared behaviors and motivations between these disorders can aid mental health professionals in developing more effective therapeutic strategies tailored to their clients’ specific needs. OCD and ARFID OCD and Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) share a common thread, deeply influencing anxiety levels and eating patterns. Individuals with OCD might develop rituals or compulsions around food intake motivated by distressing thoughts, mirroring the restrictive behaviors and fear characteristic of ARFID. Both disorders are driven by a strong need for control and intense fear, significantly affecting one's nutritional intake and overall well-being. The parallels between OCD and ARFID suggest that effective treatment involves addressing the underlying anxiety, fears, and aversions that contribute to both conditions. OCD And Bulimia The relationship between OCD and bulimia presents with unique challenges that offer insight into compulsive behaviors and intrusive thoughts. The co-occurrence of OCD and bulimia can look like compulsive binge-purge cycles rooted in an attempt to fight distressing thoughts about food and body image. Both disorders can act as coping mechanisms for underlying anxiety and distress, often manifesting as a means to gain control. The co-occurrence of OCD and bulimia complicates diagnosis and treatment, requiring a comprehensive therapeutic approach that addresses both sides of the disorder. OCD and OSFED OCD and other specified eating and feeding disorders (OSFED) often co-exist, each one potentially exacerbating the other. Both disorders frequently involve intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, such as ritualistic eating or compulsive exercising. Anxiety emerges as a common underlying factor, fuelling obsessive fears and the need for control over food and body image. Treatment approaches for these conditions often overlap, particularly with interventions such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) that aim to address distorted thinking patterns. This overlap suggests that a holistic approach to treatment can be especially beneficial for those affected by both OCD and eating disorders. Shared Traits of OCD and Disordered Eating Ritualistic Behavior Ritualistic behaviors are commonly observed in those coping with OCD, anxiety, and eating disorders. These behaviors serve a purpose: to manage distress and create an illusion of control. Though these repetitive actions might reduce anxiety temporarily, they can become time-consuming, disruptive, and negatively impact your quality of life. In OCD, people perform rituals to alleviate obsessive thoughts, whereas, in eating disorders, these rituals revolve primarily around food and body image. Anxiety Anxiety is a prominent mental health condition characterized by feelings of worry, fear, or unease that can significantly affect daily life. It often coexists with OCD and eating disorders, creating a complex interplay of symptoms. Anxiety exacerbates the compulsions and obsessions seen in OCD, leading to heightened stress and increased distress. Perfectionism Perfectionism connects OCD, anxiety, and eating disorders, driving people to pursue unrealistic standards. This pursuit of perfection often leads to increased anxiety, as the fear of failing to meet expectations results in constant worry and stress. In OCD, perfectionism manifests through repetitive behaviors aimed at achieving flawlessness and control. Understanding the role of perfectionism in these disorders can be pivotal in formulating effective therapeutic interventions tailored to combat these perfectionistic tendencies. Differences Between Disordered Eating and OCD Disordered eating involves irregular eating behaviors often linked to concerns about weight or body shape, while OCD is characterized by intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors or mental acts. Although both conditions may involve anxiety and compulsive behaviors, their motivations and manifestations differ significantly. Disordered eating focuses primarily on food-related issues, whereas OCD encompasses a wide array of obsessions frequently unrelated to food. Understanding these differences helps in tailoring more targeted treatment options for people struggling with either or both conditions. Finding Help for Eating Disorders and OCD Seeking professional help is crucial for those dealing with anorexia and OCD, given the complex interplay of these disorders. Consulting therapists or counselors specializing in eating disorders can provide valuable insights and guidance. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment option for modifying maladaptive thought patterns and behaviors. Additionally, joining support groups or online communities provides a sense of connection and shared coping strategies. Ensuring a comprehensive treatment plan that includes medical, nutritional, and psychological components is vital for addressing all aspects of the disorders. Moreover, involving family members or loved ones in the recovery process provides additional support and understanding and prevents accommodating behaviors in the home. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is widely considered the gold standard treatment for OCD and can be a critical component in addressing co-morbid presentations of OCD and eating disorders. ERP is a form of cognitive-behavioral therapy that involves the systematic and gradual exposure to feared stimuli while preventing the accompanying compulsive response. In the context of OCD/ED's, ERP helps reduce distress associated with intrusive thoughts related to food, body image, and rituals around eating. Research has shown that ERP can significantly improve nutritional intake by increasing an individual's flexibility with food choices, reducing avoidance behaviors, and supporting eating in a variety of settings and contexts. Do You Have a Loved One Battling an Eating Disorder or OCD? Understanding the intricate link between eating disorders, anxiety, and OCD can help improve the support offered to a loved one struggling with these challenges. Recognizing common characteristics and behaviors associated with these disorders further aids in building empathy and effective communication. Education on the psychological and physical aspects of eating disorders is essential for offering informed assistance and encouragement. Assisting your loved one in gaining professional help and maintaining patience are crucial steps in supporting a loved one on their journey to recovery. To learn more about eating disorders, download our free eating disorder guide “Recovery is Real” . Embracing Understanding and Support The intersection of anxiety, OCD, and eating disorders illustrates the complex nature of mental health challenges. By learning more about these interconnected conditions, those struggling and their loved ones can gain greater understanding and uncover effective pathways toward healing. Providing holistic support centered on empathy, education, and appropriate intervention not only improves treatment outcomes but also nurtures strength and resilience in the face of challenges. Through dedicated effort, recovery can be possible for anyone and can allow them to live a full life.

What to Do if You Think Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder

By Brianna Villalpando, LMSW, LCSW • March 19, 2025

Teen eating disorders are serious. As a parent or caregiver, one of the most difficult situations you can face is noticing that your teen may be struggling with a basic human need like eating. Adolescence is already a rough period for many teens filled with fluctuating emotions, changing bodies, and social pressures. However, sometimes coping with these challenges can manifest in unhealthy ways, like developing complicated relationships with food, body image, control, or exercise. Many teens face body image issues as their bodies mature, excessive pressure to meet unrealistic expectations fueled by social media and peers, and emotional instability and anxiety during their adolescent years, all of which can combine to create the perfect storm for an eating disorder. These challenges can often make your teen more vulnerable to unhealthy coping mechanisms , such as restricting food intake, excessive exercise, or engaging in disordered eating behaviors . If you’ve started noticing signs that something may not be right, it’s essential to take action to help your teen get the support they need. Recognizing the Signs of an Eating Disorder Eating disorders can vary in appearance, but there are some common signs and symptoms to watch for. If you notice any of the following behaviors or changes in your teen, it may indicate a problem that requires further attention: Preoccupation with body image : Teens with eating disorders often show increased focus on their weight or appearance, frequently expressing dissatisfaction with their body. Excessive discussions about dieting : If your teen frequently talks about dieting, food restriction, “getting skinny,” or often makes weight-related comments, this could be a red flag. Obsession with calorie counts : Teens who are obsessed with tracking every calorie, comparing the caloric content of foods, or controlling their calorie-intake may be struggling with an eating disorder. Skipping meals : Frequently skipping meals or not eating regularly is a common sign that something is wrong. Eating in isolation : Eating alone or avoiding family meals may signal discomfort with eating or shame around food. Excessive exercising : Over-exercising or using exercise as a way to purge calories can also point to an eating disorder. Spending long amounts of time in the bathroom : This could be a sign of emerging or purging behaviors, such as vomiting after meals. Hoarding foods : Hiding food or being secretive about eating may indicate issues with food control and secrecy around eating habits. Irregular periods or thinning hair : In females, a disruption in menstrual cycles or thinning hair can be physical signs of the effects of an eating disorder on the body. How Can I Talk to My Teen About Eating Disorders in a Supportive Way? Approaching a conversation about eating disorders with your child requires sensitivity and care. It's important to emphasize empathy and understanding, conveying that your primary concern is your teen's health and well-being. Initiating this conversation compassionately can create an environment of trust and openness to explore the problem. Selecting a calm, comfortable, and private setting is vital so your teen feels safe discussing a sensitive topic that may cause them to feel anxiety or shame. Effective communication hinges on using open-ended questions and active listening. Encourage your teen to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. By actively listening, you validate their experience, making them feel heard and understood. Before diving into the conversation, educating yourself about eating disorders can provide a solid foundation for discussing the issue knowledgeably. Some quick preparation with research allows you to dispel myths and provide accurate information when you talk to your teen. Why It's Crucial to Seek Medical Help When you notice warning signs, it’s important not to wait to get help. Eating disorders can be life-threatening, both physically and emotionally. They take a serious toll on a teen’s health, affecting their metabolism, hormonal function, and overall well-being. Beyond the physical impact, eating disorders can often involve deeply ingrained psychological and emotional challenges, such as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and trauma. After an initial conversation, the first step is to schedule an appointment with a medical provider. Your teen’s primary care doctor or a pediatrician can help evaluate their physical health and provide guidance for next steps. Be prepared to discuss the specific behaviors or signs you’ve observed, as this will help your provider better understand the situation. The doctor may conduct a physical examination, lab tests, and discuss your teen's emotional and psychological state. Building a Support Team Once you’ve taken the first step to ensure your teen’s immediate medical needs are addressed, it’s time to build a multidisciplinary treatment team . This may include: Therapists : A licensed, specially trained therapist who specializes in eating disorders or adolescent mental health can help your teen address the emotional and psychological root causes of their disorder. Medical doctors : Your teen’s doctor can monitor their physical health during the recovery process, ensuring they are safe while navigating the challenges of nourishing their body. Nutritionists or dietitians : A professional who specializes in eating disorders can create a nutrition plan tailored to your teen’s specific needs and help them rebuild a healthy relationship with food. Psychiatrists : In some cases, medication may be prescribed to address underlying mental health issues contributing to their behavior. Act Quickly and Seek Professional Guidance It’s crucial to act as soon as you recognize signs of an eating disorder in your teen. The longer eating disorders go untreated, the harder they can be to overcome. Recovery from an eating disorder is a complex journey, involving both physical and mental obstacles to tackle. It can be incredibly difficult for both the teen and the family to manage this process at home without professional support. A well coordinated team of medical providers, therapists, and eating disorder specialists is essential in guiding your teen through their recovery. This team can help monitor your teen’s progress, provide emotional support, and ensure that your teen is getting the care they need for both short and long-term recovery. Supporting Your Teen on Their Recovery Journey Eating disorders are serious, but with the right care and support, recovery is possible. If you suspect that your teen may have an eating disorder, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Seek medical advice first, and build a support team of professionals who can work together to provide comprehensive care. Eating disorders are complex, and it’s not something you or your teen should have to face alone. Taking swift action and offering compassionate support will help your teen regain control of their health and their life so that they can thrive through their adolescence and beyond. At Thrive, we offer specialized treatment for anorexia, bulimia, binge-eating disorder, and avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID). Our adolescent intensive outpatient and partial hospitalization programs have not only changed lives, but saved them. If you believe your teen is struggling, don't hesitate to reach out for help, we are ready to conduct a complimentary intake assessment today. To learn more about eating disorders, download our free guide "Recovery is Real" filled with practical insights and strategies to help a loved one navigate the journey toward recovery.