Having a Blue Christmas? How to Cope with Loneliness During the Holidays

December 11, 2024

Why do I feel lonely during the holidays?

When everything seems to be merry and bright, it can feel isolating when we aren't struck with the holiday spirit. Although the holidays are often thought to be a time of cheer and happiness, this season can bring up a slew of emotional challenges including feelings of loneliness or increased anxiety. Despite popular belief, loneliness and anxiety around the holidays is quite common. Even those who seem to be living the perfect holiday fantasy are probably encountering some level of anxiety or isolation during this busy season. According to The National Alliance for Mental Illness,  “extra stress, unrealistic expectations, [and] sentimental memories that accompany the season” can be to blame for feelings of loneliness , especially for those with existing mental health diagnosis.


Many face increased pressure during the holidays attempting to balance spending time with loved-ones, finding the money for travel and gifts, and planning events, all while trying to finish up on tasks at work before the end of the year. Additionally, the holidays can cause us to reminisce on the years past, reminding us of family members or partners that are no longer in our lives. It's no wonder that grief is a common sensation that presents during the holiday season, making this time of year all the more difficult. So, what can we do to combat feelings of loneliness during the holiday season? Is it really normal to feel like this during "the most wonderful time of the year"? Let's discuss.

 

What is Loneliness?


Loneliness can be described as feeling sad, disconnected, isolated, unneeded, or numbness even when surrounded by other people. Just because someone spends time alone, does not mean they are necessarily experiencing feelings of loneliness, and they might actually be quite satisfied with their lives and their relationships. The feeling of loneliness comes from a desire for connection and relationships that someone feels like they do not have. When people experience feeling lonely, especially around the holiday season, it can be challenging to cope with. Loneliness can be a painful loop- wanting to create new connections while also experiencing a lack in confidence to create them.


How Can Loneliness Impact My Mental and Physical Health?


Prolonged feelings of loneliness can have serious implications for our physical and mental well-being, including symptoms like emotional distress, sleep disturbances, social withdrawal, difficulty concentrating, and low self-esteem. It’s important to find healthy coping mechanisms for loneliness in order to avoid more serious mental health conditions like anxiety and depression while building independence and self-worth. These coping tools can be especially useful around times more likely to trigger feelings of loneliness like the holidays.

 

What are Some Effective Ways to Cope with Feelings of Loneliness?


With high expectations to be merry and bright this time of year, it can be difficult to admit that you’re struggling during the holiday season. But, you shouldn’t feel ashamed for experiencing feelings that most can relate to at some point in their lives. Combatting loneliness isn’t as hard as you might think though, and there are many practical steps we can take in our lives to strengthen our connections while enhancing our sense of self-worth. 


Reach Out to Others

Although you may feel alone, there are many people who love and care about you. Reflect on your connections with friends and family members and make an effort to maintain them through regular meetings, phone calls, or texts. It’s likely that they may be feeling a bit lonely or anxious too, and you can make their day by reaching out. Whether you’re asking to grab a cup of hot cocoa or just sending a text to wish them “happy holidays,” these small gestures can make a huge difference in feeling more connected with others. 


Volunteer

There’s no better time to give back than during the holiday season, and volunteering is a great way to combat loneliness by providing you a sense of purpose and connection with your local community. You can find meaningful volunteer opportunities posted online or in local community bulletins. Staying rooted in your community during difficult times can ease feelings of loneliness and anxiety. 


Start a Hobby

Turn your new years resolutions into reality by starting that hobby you've always wanted to try. Starting a hobby can be an amazing way to create new connections and foster confidence. Joining a club or taking a class can bring new friends who share your passions, and making progress in a hobby can provide you a renewed sense of purpose and self-worth. Try hobbies that involve groups, like taking an art class, doing an improv session, or joining a run club, to get connected with others through activities that bring you joy. 


Practice Self-Care

Give yourself the gift of self-care this holiday season! Sometimes, loneliness is more about how we’re feeling in our own company than it is about the lack of others’ companionship. Improving your self-worth through self-care practices like journaling, meditation, or mindful movement can help you appreciate your alone time, decreasing feelings of loneliness and anxiety. You can find more self-care practices to improve your sense of overall well-being in our free guide “How To Thrive.”


Where Can I find Mental Health Support During the Holidays?


If you’re in need of more support for loneliness, anxiety, or other mental health struggles this time of year, know that resources are available. You can find professional help through reaching out to a therapist or counselor. Most mental health facilities are open nearly year-round and are experienced in aiding people with loneliness or anxiety around the holiday season. Thrive Wellness is here for you during this time and we are ready to facilitate connection and healing. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, you can call the Suicide and Crisis Hotline at 988 or the NAMI Helpline at 800-950-6264. 


Conclusion


Although coping with loneliness during the holiday season can be difficult, know that you are not alone in the slightest. By practicing seeking connection and pursuing self-worth, your relational health can flourish. Whether it’s reaching out to a friend to grab coffee, volunteering at a local non-profit, or taking a pottery class, give yourself the gift of connection and care this holiday season, you deserve it. 


Download our free wellness guide.

Discover the power of small, sustainable changes with "How to Thrive: 10 Simple Habits for Healthy Living." This guide offers practical, easy-to-follow habits that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

By Julia Actis, LCSW September 11, 2025
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When Emma was 8, her parents noticed her food choices shrinking. At first, they assumed it was just picky eating — “She’ll outgrow it,” friends said. But by 10, Emma would only eat crackers, cheese, and chicken nuggets. Family dinners became nightly struggles, her growth slowed, and she skipped birthday parties to avoid “strange food.” Her parents felt powerless, her brother grew frustrated, and outings dwindled. What began as food avoidance soon reshaped the rhythm of the entire household. When children avoid food, most parents expect it’s a passing stage. But when restriction deepens, shrinks to only a few “safe foods,” and begins affecting growth or health, families suddenly find themselves in unfamiliar territory. This is often where Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) emerges — with effects that extend far beyond the plate. As providers, we need to be attuned to these patterns. It’s tempting to dismiss them as “no big deal,” yet for many families, they are life-altering. Sadly, Emma’s story is not unusual. Mealtimes as Battlegrounds Families living with ARFID often describe mealtimes as emotionally charged, exhausting, and unpredictable. What should be a chance to connect around the table can feel more like a negotiation or even a standoff. Parents wrestle with whether to push their child to try a new food or give in to the same “safe foods” again and again to avoid tears, gagging, or complete meltdowns. This ongoing tension can make mealtimes dreaded rather than cherished. Siblings, too, are affected. Some may feel resentful when family meals are limited to what only one child will tolerate. Others may act out in response to the constant attention the child with ARFID receives. Over time, the dinner table shifts from a place of nourishment and bonding into a stage for conflict, anxiety, and guilt — a pattern that can erode family cohesion and resilience. Social Isolation and Missed Experiences ARFID impacts more than what happens at home; it influences how families engage with the world around them. Everyday events — birthday parties, school lunches, vacations, even extended family dinners — become sources of stress. Parents may pack special foods to avoid confrontation or, in many cases, decline invitations altogether to protect their child from embarrassment or overwhelm. This avoidance can lead to an unintended consequence: isolation. Families miss out on milestones, friendships, and traditions because of the unpredictability surrounding food. The child may feel left out or ashamed, while parents grieve the loss of “normal” family experiences. This social withdrawal can compound the anxiety already present in ARFID and deepen its impact across generations. Emotional Toll on Parents The emotional strain on parents navigating ARFID is significant. Many describe living in a constant state of worry — Will my child get enough nutrients? Will they ever grow out of this? Am I doing something wrong? This worry often spirals into guilt and self-blame, particularly when outside voices dismiss the disorder as mere “picky eating.” In addition, the pressure to “fix” mealtimes can strain marital relationships, creating disagreements over discipline, feeding strategies, or medical decisions. Parents may also feel emotionally depleted, pouring all their energy into managing one child’s needs while inadvertently neglecting themselves or their other children. Without support, this chronic stress can lead to burnout, depression, and disconnection within the family system. The Role of Providers For clinicians, ARFID must be viewed not only as an individual diagnosis but as a family-wide challenge. Effective care requires attention to both the clinical symptoms and the family dynamics that shape recovery. Parent Support: Educating caregivers that ARFID is not their fault, offering psychoeducation, and helping them reframe mealtime struggles as part of the disorder — not a parenting failure. Family-Based Interventions: Coaching families in structured meal support, communication strategies, and gradual exposure work so parents don’t feel powerless. Holistic Care: Involving therapists, dietitians, occupational therapists, and medical providers ensures that the family does not shoulder the weight of treatment alone. When families are validated, supported, and given practical tools, the entire household can begin to heal. Treatment is not only about expanding a child’s food repertoire but also about restoring peace, resilience, and connection at home. Moving Forward ARFID may begin with one individual, but its ripple effects are felt across the entire family system. By addressing both the psychological and relational dimensions, providers can help transform mealtimes from a source of conflict into an opportunity for healing and connection. For those who want to go deeper, we invite you to join our upcoming training on ARFID , where we will explore practical strategies for supporting both clients and their families.
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