How to Talk About Mental Health With Your Teen (Without Making Them Shut Down)

Julia Actis, LCSW • September 11, 2025

6 Ways to Help Your Teen Open Up About Mental Health

Many parents know it’s important to talk about mental health with their teens, but knowing how to go about it can feel tricky. Adolescents are juggling a lot: big emotions, social pressures, academic stress, and more. Sometimes, the more you try to talk with them about these challenges, the more they pull away.

Parents often share the same frustration: “Every time I try to talk about mental health, my teen shuts me out.”

But the truth is, your goal as a parent shouldn't be to force them to open up. Instead, your job is to create a safe, supportive environment where your teen wants to share. That shift in perspective can reduce the pressure on conversations and help you build genuine trust with your teen.

To help, here are six therapist-backed strategies you can start using right away:

1. Keep it casual

Teens are more likely to open up during the everyday moments like driving, walking, or cooking rather than during a formal, sit-down “talk” that can induce anxiety and put pressure on the conversation.

Try this:
“I really enjoy these little moments we get to spend together. How are things going for you lately?”

2. Lead with what you notice

When you’ve picked up on a change in your teen’s mood, health, or behavior, bring it up gently and without judgment. Stick to objective observations instead of accusations. This helps your teen feel seen instead of attacked.

Try this:
“I’ve noticed you’ve seemed more tired than usual. What’s that been like for you?”

3. Normalize the conversation

Help your teen understand that mental health is a normal, important part of overall well-being. Framing it this way reduces stigma and makes it easier for them to talk about what they’re experiencing.

Try this:
“Everyone has days that feel heavier than others. What’s been hardest for you this week?”

4. Be vulnerable (but keep it light)

Sharing small examples from your own life can help your teen feel less alone. Let your teen know that everyone struggles with their mental health sometimes, even their parents. Just make sure your story stays short and doesn’t shift the focus away from them.

Try this:
“Before exams, I used to feel so anxious I couldn’t sleep. What helps you when you’re stressed?”

5. Give them a choice

Show your teen you respect their independence and boundaries by letting them decide how and when to talk. Putting pressure on having a conversation at a set time can make your teen feel cornered and increase their anxiety. Instead, let them decide when they’re ready to talk.

Try this:
“Would you like to talk about this now, or should we come back to it later?”

6. Keep the door open

Not every check-in needs to be a deep, drawn-out talk. Instead focus on consistent, gentle check-ins that build trust over time. This shows your teen that you'll be there for them whenever they’re ready to open up.

Try this:
“I really appreciate you sharing that with me. I’m here whenever you want to talk again.”

When supporting your teen’s mental health, prioritize building vulnerability, trust, and respect. By approaching conversations with openness instead of pressure, you lower the risk of shutdown and increase the chance of meaningful connection. Creating a safe space to share encourages your teen to come to you when it matters most.

And remember, if you notice ongoing signs of distress, such as changes in sleep, appetite, motivation, or mood, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. Support from a therapist can make all the difference for both your teen and your family.

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When Mealtimes Become Battlegrounds: How ARFID Impacts Families

August 21, 2025

When Emma was 8, her parents noticed her food choices shrinking. At first, they assumed it was just picky eating — “She’ll outgrow it,” friends said. But by 10, Emma would only eat crackers, cheese, and chicken nuggets. Family dinners became nightly struggles, her growth slowed, and she skipped birthday parties to avoid “strange food.” Her parents felt powerless, her brother grew frustrated, and outings dwindled. What began as food avoidance soon reshaped the rhythm of the entire household. When children avoid food, most parents expect it’s a passing stage. But when restriction deepens, shrinks to only a few “safe foods,” and begins affecting growth or health, families suddenly find themselves in unfamiliar territory. This is often where Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) emerges — with effects that extend far beyond the plate. As providers, we need to be attuned to these patterns. It’s tempting to dismiss them as “no big deal,” yet for many families, they are life-altering. Sadly, Emma’s story is not unusual. Mealtimes as Battlegrounds Families living with ARFID often describe mealtimes as emotionally charged, exhausting, and unpredictable. What should be a chance to connect around the table can feel more like a negotiation or even a standoff. Parents wrestle with whether to push their child to try a new food or give in to the same “safe foods” again and again to avoid tears, gagging, or complete meltdowns. This ongoing tension can make mealtimes dreaded rather than cherished. Siblings, too, are affected. Some may feel resentful when family meals are limited to what only one child will tolerate. Others may act out in response to the constant attention the child with ARFID receives. Over time, the dinner table shifts from a place of nourishment and bonding into a stage for conflict, anxiety, and guilt — a pattern that can erode family cohesion and resilience. Social Isolation and Missed Experiences ARFID impacts more than what happens at home; it influences how families engage with the world around them. Everyday events — birthday parties, school lunches, vacations, even extended family dinners — become sources of stress. Parents may pack special foods to avoid confrontation or, in many cases, decline invitations altogether to protect their child from embarrassment or overwhelm. This avoidance can lead to an unintended consequence: isolation. Families miss out on milestones, friendships, and traditions because of the unpredictability surrounding food. The child may feel left out or ashamed, while parents grieve the loss of “normal” family experiences. This social withdrawal can compound the anxiety already present in ARFID and deepen its impact across generations. Emotional Toll on Parents The emotional strain on parents navigating ARFID is significant. Many describe living in a constant state of worry — Will my child get enough nutrients? Will they ever grow out of this? Am I doing something wrong? This worry often spirals into guilt and self-blame, particularly when outside voices dismiss the disorder as mere “picky eating.” In addition, the pressure to “fix” mealtimes can strain marital relationships, creating disagreements over discipline, feeding strategies, or medical decisions. Parents may also feel emotionally depleted, pouring all their energy into managing one child’s needs while inadvertently neglecting themselves or their other children. Without support, this chronic stress can lead to burnout, depression, and disconnection within the family system. The Role of Providers For clinicians, ARFID must be viewed not only as an individual diagnosis but as a family-wide challenge. Effective care requires attention to both the clinical symptoms and the family dynamics that shape recovery. Parent Support: Educating caregivers that ARFID is not their fault, offering psychoeducation, and helping them reframe mealtime struggles as part of the disorder — not a parenting failure. Family-Based Interventions: Coaching families in structured meal support, communication strategies, and gradual exposure work so parents don’t feel powerless. Holistic Care: Involving therapists, dietitians, occupational therapists, and medical providers ensures that the family does not shoulder the weight of treatment alone. When families are validated, supported, and given practical tools, the entire household can begin to heal. Treatment is not only about expanding a child’s food repertoire but also about restoring peace, resilience, and connection at home. Moving Forward ARFID may begin with one individual, but its ripple effects are felt across the entire family system. By addressing both the psychological and relational dimensions, providers can help transform mealtimes from a source of conflict into an opportunity for healing and connection. For those who want to go deeper, we invite you to join our upcoming training on ARFID , where we will explore practical strategies for supporting both clients and their families.

Why You Might Be Missing Co-Occurring OCD and Eating Disorder Symptoms in Teens

July 30, 2025

How to Recognize Overlapping Behaviors + A Case Study and Screening Tools to Help

Is It OCD or an Eating Disorder? What Parents Need to Know

July 17, 2025

As a parent, noticing alarming behaviors around food or routines in your child can raise some important questions. You might be asking yourself, “Is this an eating disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), or something else entirely?” Understanding the signs and differences between these disorders is key to getting your child effective, timely treatment. In this blog, we’ll break down the overlap between OCD and eating disorders, what signs to watch for, and how to get professional help. If you're a parent wondering “Is my child’s eating disorder actually OCD?” or “OCD vs eating disorder in teens,” know that you’re not alone and you’re in the right place to find specialized care for your child. What Is OCD? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition where unwanted thoughts (obsessions) cause anxiety, leading to repetitive behaviors (compulsions) intended to ease that anxiety. OCD can be focused on any subject. Common obsessions include contamination, perfectionism, scrupulosity, and harm, but sometimes, the content of obsessions can be focused on food, body image, or weight. What Is an Eating Disorder? Eating disorders , like anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, and avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) involve disturbed eating behaviors and intense concerns about body weight or shape. These conditions go beyond dieting or “picky eating” and can become life-threatening without professional intervention. The Overlap: Why It Can Be Confusing OCD and eating disorders often share similar symptoms : Ritualistic eating (e.g., needing to eat foods in a certain order or at a certain time) Rigid rules about food (like only eating certain food groups or certain amounts of food) Excessive checking (like weighing food or body or repeated checking of expiration dates or thorough cooking) Avoidance behaviors ( like avoiding carbs, fats, or other food groups or avoiding places or objects that can trigger obsessions) Distress when routines are disrupted (either around mealtimes or exercise routines) So, How Can You Tell the Difference? Use the following chart to compare and contrast symptoms of OCD and eating disorders.