Regina’s Perinatal Mental Health Story

Thrive • July 23, 2021

My name is Regina, and I became a mama to my sweet baby girl Jeweliet in January of 2020. After having Jeweliet, I faced an emotional rollercoaster that I was unprepared for. I experienced intrusive thoughts. I washed my hands, as well as her bottles and toys obsessively. (The pandemic didn’t help.) I had severe anxiety almost all the time. It was a constant feeling that I was doing something wrong and that something bad was going to happen. I also wasn’t sleeping great, even though Jeweliet was sleeping well. 

I was extremely emotional. Some days I felt on top of the world, and some days I couldn’t stop crying and beating myself up. I was self-medicating and trying to escape with drugs and alcohol as I had done so many times before. I was ashamed and embarrassed to talk about my struggle. 

At about four months postpartum, I found myself at my breaking point. I experienced a manic episode that turned into psychosis and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. 

I was terrified. I wanted a better understanding of what happened to me, and how I could avoid it from happening again. The experience led me to Thrive’s It Takes a Village perinatal IOP program

I was beyond grateful that there was support available to me. Thrive’s perinatal specialists helped me process the struggles that accompany becoming a mom. I realized that the way I had been living wasn’t sustainable, and I needed help. I had to, as they say, “put my oxygen mask on first.” At Thrive, I developed a fuller understanding of my diagnosis and learned healthy coping skills to manage my mental health. 

The Thrive perinatal IOP immerses you in self-care and empowers you to support your overall wellbeing. I’ve learned that simple practices, like meditating, eating nutritiously, journaling, and exercising, can do wonders for your general wellness. 

Taking what I learned from Thrive’s perinatal IOP, I try to incorporate some sort of movement into my day. Diving into a nutrient-rich lifestyle has also proved beneficial. Additionally, I try to read something that’s personally enriching every day. 

Supporting your mental health requires daily intention. Until coming to Thrive, I hadn’t realized that I had been abandoning my mental health. But your mental health is just like your physical health. You have to put effort into maintaining it. Now that I have the tools, supporting my mental health is something that I enjoy.

For any new parents who are struggling, I’d like them to know that it’s okay to use the resources that are available. You have to take care of yourself in order to be a strong parent for your child. It really does take a village. Remember, it’s all going to be okay and you don’t have to get through this alone. 

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When Emma was 8, her parents noticed her food choices shrinking. At first, they assumed it was just picky eating — “She’ll outgrow it,” friends said. But by 10, Emma would only eat crackers, cheese, and chicken nuggets. Family dinners became nightly struggles, her growth slowed, and she skipped birthday parties to avoid “strange food.” Her parents felt powerless, her brother grew frustrated, and outings dwindled. What began as food avoidance soon reshaped the rhythm of the entire household. When children avoid food, most parents expect it’s a passing stage. But when restriction deepens, shrinks to only a few “safe foods,” and begins affecting growth or health, families suddenly find themselves in unfamiliar territory. This is often where Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) emerges — with effects that extend far beyond the plate. As providers, we need to be attuned to these patterns. It’s tempting to dismiss them as “no big deal,” yet for many families, they are life-altering. Sadly, Emma’s story is not unusual. Mealtimes as Battlegrounds Families living with ARFID often describe mealtimes as emotionally charged, exhausting, and unpredictable. What should be a chance to connect around the table can feel more like a negotiation or even a standoff. Parents wrestle with whether to push their child to try a new food or give in to the same “safe foods” again and again to avoid tears, gagging, or complete meltdowns. This ongoing tension can make mealtimes dreaded rather than cherished. Siblings, too, are affected. Some may feel resentful when family meals are limited to what only one child will tolerate. Others may act out in response to the constant attention the child with ARFID receives. Over time, the dinner table shifts from a place of nourishment and bonding into a stage for conflict, anxiety, and guilt — a pattern that can erode family cohesion and resilience. Social Isolation and Missed Experiences ARFID impacts more than what happens at home; it influences how families engage with the world around them. Everyday events — birthday parties, school lunches, vacations, even extended family dinners — become sources of stress. Parents may pack special foods to avoid confrontation or, in many cases, decline invitations altogether to protect their child from embarrassment or overwhelm. This avoidance can lead to an unintended consequence: isolation. Families miss out on milestones, friendships, and traditions because of the unpredictability surrounding food. The child may feel left out or ashamed, while parents grieve the loss of “normal” family experiences. This social withdrawal can compound the anxiety already present in ARFID and deepen its impact across generations. Emotional Toll on Parents The emotional strain on parents navigating ARFID is significant. Many describe living in a constant state of worry — Will my child get enough nutrients? Will they ever grow out of this? Am I doing something wrong? This worry often spirals into guilt and self-blame, particularly when outside voices dismiss the disorder as mere “picky eating.” In addition, the pressure to “fix” mealtimes can strain marital relationships, creating disagreements over discipline, feeding strategies, or medical decisions. Parents may also feel emotionally depleted, pouring all their energy into managing one child’s needs while inadvertently neglecting themselves or their other children. Without support, this chronic stress can lead to burnout, depression, and disconnection within the family system. The Role of Providers For clinicians, ARFID must be viewed not only as an individual diagnosis but as a family-wide challenge. Effective care requires attention to both the clinical symptoms and the family dynamics that shape recovery. Parent Support: Educating caregivers that ARFID is not their fault, offering psychoeducation, and helping them reframe mealtime struggles as part of the disorder — not a parenting failure. Family-Based Interventions: Coaching families in structured meal support, communication strategies, and gradual exposure work so parents don’t feel powerless. Holistic Care: Involving therapists, dietitians, occupational therapists, and medical providers ensures that the family does not shoulder the weight of treatment alone. When families are validated, supported, and given practical tools, the entire household can begin to heal. Treatment is not only about expanding a child’s food repertoire but also about restoring peace, resilience, and connection at home. Moving Forward ARFID may begin with one individual, but its ripple effects are felt across the entire family system. By addressing both the psychological and relational dimensions, providers can help transform mealtimes from a source of conflict into an opportunity for healing and connection. For those who want to go deeper, we invite you to join our upcoming training on ARFID , where we will explore practical strategies for supporting both clients and their families.
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