Adoptive Parent Mental Health Challenges and Therapeutic Support For Navigating the Adoption Journey

Thrive • December 6, 2022
By Thrive Wellness Reno Therapist Falon Schnieder, MFT

Usually full of many unknowns, the often volatile process and major life transition of adopting a child can evoke uncertainty, fear, and other distressing emotions, causing adoptive parents’ mental health to suffer. Through specialized therapeutic support, adoptive parents can obtain comfort, guidance, and coping skills to feel less isolated on their journey and nurture their mental well-being. 

CHALLENGES THAT COMMONLY ARISE DURING ADOPTION 

Parents who go through a child welfare system to adopt face a multitude of hurdles. Typically, they have to undergo the extensive process of becoming licensed foster and adoptive parents, which requires training and a thorough home study. During a home study that assesses the suitability of the family for the child, the interviewer may ask questions about the parents’ childhoods, relationships with one another, and parenting styles. 

Once parents obtain their licensure, the foster child is placed in their home. For the parents to adopt the child, the adoptive family often must wait for either the biological parents to relinquish their parental rights or for the court to terminate the rights. Typically, this waiting period takes at least six months, which is the minimum time required, but could also last a year or more. Throughout this time families can become increasingly attached to the foster child, but acutely unsettled about the possibly temporary relationship with the child.  

During this time, the biological parents usually have the opportunity to attend scheduled visits with the foster child. These visits can be emotionally damaging to the adoptive family, despite whether the biological parents are present or absent at the visit. 

While a family is fostering a child, the biological parental rights may be neither relinquished nor terminated. If this is the case, the child may return to their biological family which can cause the foster family intense, complicated grief.

While adopting through a private agency is somewhat more straightforward than through a child welfare system, families who use a private adoption agency must plan for significant expenses. 

PREVALENT MENTAL HEALTH CONCERNS ADOPTIVE PARENTS EXPERIENCE

In addition to the above distressing circumstances that can occur throughout the adoption process, adoptive parents may face other mental health struggles as they adapt and cope with the change of bringing a new child into their family.

 Some common mental health struggles of adoptive parents include:

  • Difficulty bonding with their adopted child: Many adoptive parents describe the attachment they feel with their adopted child as “different” than if it were to have been a biological child. Some express feelings of guilt, depression , and anxiety about not connecting with their child in ways they had hoped.  
  • Secondary trauma : Many adopted children have experienced trauma . When adoptive parents are aware of the child’s history, they can suffer vicarious or secondary trauma, which describes indirect trauma that can occur when exposed to disturbing stories or visuals. 
  • Sense of loss over the idea of having a biological child: For families unable to conceive a child on their own, symptoms of grief and depression may manifest.

AVAILABLE MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT FOR ADOPTIVE PARENTS

For adoptive parents, family counseling can provide an opportunity to understand emotions and strengthen resilience as they navigate adoption. They may even seek a clinician with adoption competency training who can provide specialized treatment that addresses all facets of adoption. Additionally, many state human services agencies offer clinical post-adoption support to families.  

PROMOTING ADOPTIVE PARENTS’ WELL-BEING AT THRIVE WELLNESS

Through our It Takes a Village (ITAV) perinatal day program , adoptive parents of infants can join a healing community of perinatal specialists and other individuals navigating the early stages of parenthood. Program participants attend psychoeducational groups on perinatal mood and anxiety disorder (PMAD) diagnoses (which also exist within the adoptive parent population), bonding and attachment, nutrition , culture and identity , emotional regulation , and other topics. Additionally, our experienced clinicians provide individual and family outpatient therapy to adoptive parents. Reach out to learn more about our therapeutic services for adoptive parents.

About the Author

Thrive Wellness Reno Therapist Falon Schnieder, MFT

Falon Schnieder, MFT, attended the University of Nevada, Reno, where she earned both a bachelor’s of science in human development and family studies as well as a master’s degree in counseling and educational psychology with an emphasis in marriage and family therapy (MFT). She began her career as a therapist serving children and adolescents with significant mental and behavioral health needs in an outpatient setting. Since then, Falon has worked extensively within a child welfare system where she worked with children entering into foster care, biological parents, and foster and adoptive parents.

As a rostered child-parent psychotherapy (CPP), she provides didactic therapeutic services to infants, children, and parents, and specializes in infant and early childhood mental health, trauma, and attachment. Falon is also a board-approved secondary supervisor providing training in child-parent psychotherapy for aspiring marriage and family therapists (MFTs) and clinical professional counselors (CPCs).

As a therapist at Thrive Wellness Reno, Falon serves children from infancy to age 17, families, and parents struggling with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). She is passionate about infant and early childhood mental health as well as providing support to caregivers during what can be the most rewarding, yet challenging endeavor — parenting. Falon enjoys helping families learn new ways to connect with each other, overcome challenges, and experience triumphs on their journey. She believes that providing mental health care services to the community is an important element of well-being for all and is an advocate for destigmatizing mental health.

Download our free wellness guide.

Discover the power of small, sustainable changes with "How to Thrive: 10 Simple Habits for Healthy Living." This guide offers practical, easy-to-follow habits that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

By Julia Actis, LCSW September 11, 2025
6 Ways to Help Your Teen Open Up About Mental Health
August 21, 2025
When Emma was 8, her parents noticed her food choices shrinking. At first, they assumed it was just picky eating — “She’ll outgrow it,” friends said. But by 10, Emma would only eat crackers, cheese, and chicken nuggets. Family dinners became nightly struggles, her growth slowed, and she skipped birthday parties to avoid “strange food.” Her parents felt powerless, her brother grew frustrated, and outings dwindled. What began as food avoidance soon reshaped the rhythm of the entire household. When children avoid food, most parents expect it’s a passing stage. But when restriction deepens, shrinks to only a few “safe foods,” and begins affecting growth or health, families suddenly find themselves in unfamiliar territory. This is often where Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) emerges — with effects that extend far beyond the plate. As providers, we need to be attuned to these patterns. It’s tempting to dismiss them as “no big deal,” yet for many families, they are life-altering. Sadly, Emma’s story is not unusual. Mealtimes as Battlegrounds Families living with ARFID often describe mealtimes as emotionally charged, exhausting, and unpredictable. What should be a chance to connect around the table can feel more like a negotiation or even a standoff. Parents wrestle with whether to push their child to try a new food or give in to the same “safe foods” again and again to avoid tears, gagging, or complete meltdowns. This ongoing tension can make mealtimes dreaded rather than cherished. Siblings, too, are affected. Some may feel resentful when family meals are limited to what only one child will tolerate. Others may act out in response to the constant attention the child with ARFID receives. Over time, the dinner table shifts from a place of nourishment and bonding into a stage for conflict, anxiety, and guilt — a pattern that can erode family cohesion and resilience. Social Isolation and Missed Experiences ARFID impacts more than what happens at home; it influences how families engage with the world around them. Everyday events — birthday parties, school lunches, vacations, even extended family dinners — become sources of stress. Parents may pack special foods to avoid confrontation or, in many cases, decline invitations altogether to protect their child from embarrassment or overwhelm. This avoidance can lead to an unintended consequence: isolation. Families miss out on milestones, friendships, and traditions because of the unpredictability surrounding food. The child may feel left out or ashamed, while parents grieve the loss of “normal” family experiences. This social withdrawal can compound the anxiety already present in ARFID and deepen its impact across generations. Emotional Toll on Parents The emotional strain on parents navigating ARFID is significant. Many describe living in a constant state of worry — Will my child get enough nutrients? Will they ever grow out of this? Am I doing something wrong? This worry often spirals into guilt and self-blame, particularly when outside voices dismiss the disorder as mere “picky eating.” In addition, the pressure to “fix” mealtimes can strain marital relationships, creating disagreements over discipline, feeding strategies, or medical decisions. Parents may also feel emotionally depleted, pouring all their energy into managing one child’s needs while inadvertently neglecting themselves or their other children. Without support, this chronic stress can lead to burnout, depression, and disconnection within the family system. The Role of Providers For clinicians, ARFID must be viewed not only as an individual diagnosis but as a family-wide challenge. Effective care requires attention to both the clinical symptoms and the family dynamics that shape recovery. Parent Support: Educating caregivers that ARFID is not their fault, offering psychoeducation, and helping them reframe mealtime struggles as part of the disorder — not a parenting failure. Family-Based Interventions: Coaching families in structured meal support, communication strategies, and gradual exposure work so parents don’t feel powerless. Holistic Care: Involving therapists, dietitians, occupational therapists, and medical providers ensures that the family does not shoulder the weight of treatment alone. When families are validated, supported, and given practical tools, the entire household can begin to heal. Treatment is not only about expanding a child’s food repertoire but also about restoring peace, resilience, and connection at home. Moving Forward ARFID may begin with one individual, but its ripple effects are felt across the entire family system. By addressing both the psychological and relational dimensions, providers can help transform mealtimes from a source of conflict into an opportunity for healing and connection. For those who want to go deeper, we invite you to join our upcoming training on ARFID , where we will explore practical strategies for supporting both clients and their families.
July 30, 2025
How to Recognize Overlapping Behaviors + A Case Study and Screening Tools to Help
More Posts

Start your healing journey today

NEXT STEPS

Are you ready to find hope? We can't wait to connect you with the care you need. To get started with us, please reach out using the link below.   

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Learn more →

Perinatal

Mental Health

Learn more →

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Learn more →

Perinatal

Mental Health

Learn more →