How to Find the Right Therapist for You

Brianna Villalpando, Therapist • July 31, 2024

In the journey towards mental and emotional wellness, one of the most crucial steps is finding a therapist who resonates with you. It's a journey that can feel overwhelming, and at times even discouraging. Yet, amidst the blur of choices, lies the hope of finding profound support and understanding.


Imagine this search as one similar to finding a guide for a challenging hike. Just as you would seek someone who knows the terrain and can offer both encouragement and expertise, finding the right therapist involves finding someone with whom you can build a foundation of trust and collaboration to help you navigate the rocky terrain of healing. It's about discovering a professional who not only possesses the necessary qualifications but also connects with you on a personal level.


As a therapist myself, I understand the importance of feeling seen and heard during sessions. It's not just about finding someone who ticks the boxes of expertise and availability; it's about finding a safe space where you can explore your thoughts, emotions, and experiences without judgment and find the connection that you need to establish trust and build rapport. 

Whether you're taking your first steps towards therapy or reevaluating your current therapeutic relationship, this blurb aims to provide insights, tips, and encouragement to help you find the therapist who's right for you.


1. Presenting Issues 

When embarking on the journey to find a therapist, it's essential to consider your specific presenting issue(s) and seek out professionals who specialize in addressing those concerns. Whether you're grappling with anxiety, navigating relationship challenges, or coping with trauma, finding a therapist with expertise in your area of need can significantly enhance the therapeutic process. Specialization not only assures you that your therapist is well-versed in evidence-based treatments and approaches relevant to your issues but it also indicates a deeper understanding and empathy for the complexities involved, much like navigating the rocky terrain of an unknown hike with an experienced guide. By aligning your needs with a therapist's specialization, you not only increase the likelihood of effective treatment but also foster a sense of trust and confidence in the therapeutic relationship.


2. Modalities

When selecting a therapist, it's crucial to consider the therapeutic modality or approach they utilize, as it can significantly influence the outcomes of your sessions. Different modalities, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, mindfulness-based approaches, or family systems therapy, offer distinct frameworks and techniques for addressing mental health concerns. Understanding these modalities and how they align with your preferences and goals can guide you in finding a therapist whose approach resonates with you. Ultimately, choosing a therapist based on their modality can increase the likelihood that you receive tailored interventions that are best suited to your unique needs and circumstances.


3. Connection 

When seeking a therapist, the decision often extends beyond clinical expertise to factors like personal connection, gender, cultural background, and age. These elements can profoundly influence the therapeutic relationship and your comfort level during sessions. A strong connection with your therapist, characterized by mutual understanding and trust, lays the groundwork for effective communication and healing. Additionally, factors such as gender, cultural background, and age can play pivotal roles in how comfortable you feel sharing personal experiences and perspectives. Whether you prefer a therapist who shares your cultural background, or someone of a specific gender or age group, prioritizing these aspects can enhance the therapeutic process, fostering a space where you feel genuinely understood and supported. Ultimately, the right therapist is someone with whom you can establish a meaningful connection and who respects and honors your individual identity and experiences.


4. Accessibility

Choosing a therapist involves practical considerations such as whether you prefer virtual or in-person appointments, convenient locations, flexible scheduling, and the therapeutic setting itself. Virtual therapy offers the flexibility to connect from the comfort of your own space, eliminating travel time and accommodating busy schedules. In contrast, in-person sessions may provide a more personalized interaction and a tangible sense of presence. Location plays a crucial role in accessibility, ensuring that therapy sessions are convenient and feasible. Moreover, finding a therapist who offers appointments at times that suit your daily routine enhances the consistency and effectiveness of therapy. Whether you opt for virtual or in-person sessions, selecting a therapeutic setting that aligns with your preferences and logistical needs contributes to a supportive and conducive environment for your mental health journey.


These tips along with other considerations can be helpful in finding the right therapist suited for you. Much like dating, finding a connection in therapy can be a challenge and can take some trial and error. However, finding the right match is a part of the therapeutic process and it can be both beautiful and an opportunity to learn what is right for you. Please do not be discouraged if the first therapist you meet with does not end up being the right fit; the right therapist is out there and waiting for you.


Thrive Wellness has a multitude of therapists with unique specializations, modalities, and personal traits so that you can find the right one for you! Learn more about the team or reach out to get started with one of our compassionate therapists.


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By Julia Actis, LCSW September 11, 2025
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When Emma was 8, her parents noticed her food choices shrinking. At first, they assumed it was just picky eating — “She’ll outgrow it,” friends said. But by 10, Emma would only eat crackers, cheese, and chicken nuggets. Family dinners became nightly struggles, her growth slowed, and she skipped birthday parties to avoid “strange food.” Her parents felt powerless, her brother grew frustrated, and outings dwindled. What began as food avoidance soon reshaped the rhythm of the entire household. When children avoid food, most parents expect it’s a passing stage. But when restriction deepens, shrinks to only a few “safe foods,” and begins affecting growth or health, families suddenly find themselves in unfamiliar territory. This is often where Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) emerges — with effects that extend far beyond the plate. As providers, we need to be attuned to these patterns. It’s tempting to dismiss them as “no big deal,” yet for many families, they are life-altering. Sadly, Emma’s story is not unusual. Mealtimes as Battlegrounds Families living with ARFID often describe mealtimes as emotionally charged, exhausting, and unpredictable. What should be a chance to connect around the table can feel more like a negotiation or even a standoff. Parents wrestle with whether to push their child to try a new food or give in to the same “safe foods” again and again to avoid tears, gagging, or complete meltdowns. This ongoing tension can make mealtimes dreaded rather than cherished. Siblings, too, are affected. Some may feel resentful when family meals are limited to what only one child will tolerate. Others may act out in response to the constant attention the child with ARFID receives. Over time, the dinner table shifts from a place of nourishment and bonding into a stage for conflict, anxiety, and guilt — a pattern that can erode family cohesion and resilience. Social Isolation and Missed Experiences ARFID impacts more than what happens at home; it influences how families engage with the world around them. Everyday events — birthday parties, school lunches, vacations, even extended family dinners — become sources of stress. Parents may pack special foods to avoid confrontation or, in many cases, decline invitations altogether to protect their child from embarrassment or overwhelm. This avoidance can lead to an unintended consequence: isolation. Families miss out on milestones, friendships, and traditions because of the unpredictability surrounding food. The child may feel left out or ashamed, while parents grieve the loss of “normal” family experiences. This social withdrawal can compound the anxiety already present in ARFID and deepen its impact across generations. Emotional Toll on Parents The emotional strain on parents navigating ARFID is significant. Many describe living in a constant state of worry — Will my child get enough nutrients? Will they ever grow out of this? Am I doing something wrong? This worry often spirals into guilt and self-blame, particularly when outside voices dismiss the disorder as mere “picky eating.” In addition, the pressure to “fix” mealtimes can strain marital relationships, creating disagreements over discipline, feeding strategies, or medical decisions. Parents may also feel emotionally depleted, pouring all their energy into managing one child’s needs while inadvertently neglecting themselves or their other children. Without support, this chronic stress can lead to burnout, depression, and disconnection within the family system. The Role of Providers For clinicians, ARFID must be viewed not only as an individual diagnosis but as a family-wide challenge. Effective care requires attention to both the clinical symptoms and the family dynamics that shape recovery. Parent Support: Educating caregivers that ARFID is not their fault, offering psychoeducation, and helping them reframe mealtime struggles as part of the disorder — not a parenting failure. Family-Based Interventions: Coaching families in structured meal support, communication strategies, and gradual exposure work so parents don’t feel powerless. Holistic Care: Involving therapists, dietitians, occupational therapists, and medical providers ensures that the family does not shoulder the weight of treatment alone. When families are validated, supported, and given practical tools, the entire household can begin to heal. Treatment is not only about expanding a child’s food repertoire but also about restoring peace, resilience, and connection at home. Moving Forward ARFID may begin with one individual, but its ripple effects are felt across the entire family system. By addressing both the psychological and relational dimensions, providers can help transform mealtimes from a source of conflict into an opportunity for healing and connection. For those who want to go deeper, we invite you to join our upcoming training on ARFID , where we will explore practical strategies for supporting both clients and their families.
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