How to Advocate for Yourself at the Doctor's

Becky Barnett, PA-C, Director of Primary Care Services • August 15, 2024

Advocating for yourself at the doctor’s office is no small feat: it can take preparation and planning to be willing to speak up on behalf of your health care needs in the clinical setting. It can be challenging getting your healthcare needs met with a busy schedule and time caps on appointments. By establishing your health goals and making clear expectations for your doctor’s visits, you can make the most of your appointments, changing your health care outcomes for the better. Here are eight ways to better advocate for yourself at your next doctor’s visit: 


1. Be Intentional When Booking


 While booking your appointment, make it clear what specifically you want to be seen for as well as describing any recent symptoms you have experienced. Providing details ahead of time can ensure that there is enough time scheduled for your appointment to cover everything of importance. 


When establishing the time of your appointment, choose a time that works well for your schedule and energy levels. If possible, try to schedule an appointment earlier in the morning, as your provider may feel more relaxed and focused at the beginning of the day. 


2. Practice What You Will Say


Before attending your appointment, write out what you would like to talk about and practice saying it, similarly to a script. This will allow you to feel more comfortable describing your condition and symptoms during the actual appointment. 


If necessary, also practice advocating for yourself in the case you feel misunderstood by your provider. This can sound like disagreeing with their incorrect description, explaining your symptoms again, or letting them know that their synopsis is not quite correct. Although it can be challenging to disagree with your provider, it is your right to feel understood and heard during your appointment. 


3. Bring a Friend or Family Member for Support 


Attending doctor’s visits can be anxiety-inducing, but bringing a family member or friend for support can help you feel more comfortable. Your buddy can be an anchor during stressful times in an appointment, or they can act as a second pair of hands to help you take notes. They can also help you to remember important topics you would like covered during your visit. 


4. Consider a Second Opinion


If you didn’t get the answers you were looking for from a provider, it is more than okay to seek out a second opinion in hopes of learning more about your condition. It’s your right to feel sure about your health, and seeking out advice from another doctor is completely acceptable. You can ask for a referral from your doctor or look online for people who specialize in your condition. Getting a second opinion can allow you to feel more confident in medical advice or your diagnosis.

 

5. Don't be Afraid to Ask Questions


In order to best advocate for yourself, make sure you fully comprehend your care plan. In order to establish full understanding, bring a list of
important questions with you to your appointment and ask your doctor for clarification on any unclear topics. You can also ask about what your doctor has done in past similar situations or for more details about your medication. 


6. Find a Supportive Community


If you are suffering from a
chronic illness or persistent condition, seeking out a support group can be a great way to feel less alone in your experience. By hearing from others with similar experiences, you can learn more about your own diagnosis and medical needs. They can also provide referrals and recommendations for providers who specialize in treating your condition. 


7. Do Your Research


If you’ve received a diagnosis, take some time to learn more information about your condition, treatment options, and new research findings. Being knowledgeable about your condition can allow you to make better-informed decisions for your health. 


8. Have a Clear Care Plan


During your doctor’s visit, work with your provider to create a clear plan of care to help treat your symptoms. Make sure you understand different aspects of your care plan, like medication and side-effects, lifestyle changes, and when to schedule a follow-up appointment. Fully understanding your plan of care can help you to better treat your symptoms, prevent further health issues, and optimize health care results. 


Advocating for yourself at the doctor’s allows you to ensure your individual needs are met, achieve improved health outcomes, fight bias in the healthcare system, and establish a stronger provider-patient relationship. To find more ways to make the most of your appointment, check out our blogs on
Easier Visits with Your Doctor and 10 Questions to Ask Your Doctor During Your Next Visit. Schedule your next doctor’s appointment at Thrive Wellness here.

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When Emma was 8, her parents noticed her food choices shrinking. At first, they assumed it was just picky eating — “She’ll outgrow it,” friends said. But by 10, Emma would only eat crackers, cheese, and chicken nuggets. Family dinners became nightly struggles, her growth slowed, and she skipped birthday parties to avoid “strange food.” Her parents felt powerless, her brother grew frustrated, and outings dwindled. What began as food avoidance soon reshaped the rhythm of the entire household. When children avoid food, most parents expect it’s a passing stage. But when restriction deepens, shrinks to only a few “safe foods,” and begins affecting growth or health, families suddenly find themselves in unfamiliar territory. This is often where Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID) emerges — with effects that extend far beyond the plate. As providers, we need to be attuned to these patterns. It’s tempting to dismiss them as “no big deal,” yet for many families, they are life-altering. Sadly, Emma’s story is not unusual. Mealtimes as Battlegrounds Families living with ARFID often describe mealtimes as emotionally charged, exhausting, and unpredictable. What should be a chance to connect around the table can feel more like a negotiation or even a standoff. Parents wrestle with whether to push their child to try a new food or give in to the same “safe foods” again and again to avoid tears, gagging, or complete meltdowns. This ongoing tension can make mealtimes dreaded rather than cherished. Siblings, too, are affected. Some may feel resentful when family meals are limited to what only one child will tolerate. Others may act out in response to the constant attention the child with ARFID receives. Over time, the dinner table shifts from a place of nourishment and bonding into a stage for conflict, anxiety, and guilt — a pattern that can erode family cohesion and resilience. Social Isolation and Missed Experiences ARFID impacts more than what happens at home; it influences how families engage with the world around them. Everyday events — birthday parties, school lunches, vacations, even extended family dinners — become sources of stress. Parents may pack special foods to avoid confrontation or, in many cases, decline invitations altogether to protect their child from embarrassment or overwhelm. This avoidance can lead to an unintended consequence: isolation. Families miss out on milestones, friendships, and traditions because of the unpredictability surrounding food. The child may feel left out or ashamed, while parents grieve the loss of “normal” family experiences. This social withdrawal can compound the anxiety already present in ARFID and deepen its impact across generations. Emotional Toll on Parents The emotional strain on parents navigating ARFID is significant. Many describe living in a constant state of worry — Will my child get enough nutrients? Will they ever grow out of this? Am I doing something wrong? This worry often spirals into guilt and self-blame, particularly when outside voices dismiss the disorder as mere “picky eating.” In addition, the pressure to “fix” mealtimes can strain marital relationships, creating disagreements over discipline, feeding strategies, or medical decisions. Parents may also feel emotionally depleted, pouring all their energy into managing one child’s needs while inadvertently neglecting themselves or their other children. Without support, this chronic stress can lead to burnout, depression, and disconnection within the family system. The Role of Providers For clinicians, ARFID must be viewed not only as an individual diagnosis but as a family-wide challenge. Effective care requires attention to both the clinical symptoms and the family dynamics that shape recovery. Parent Support: Educating caregivers that ARFID is not their fault, offering psychoeducation, and helping them reframe mealtime struggles as part of the disorder — not a parenting failure. Family-Based Interventions: Coaching families in structured meal support, communication strategies, and gradual exposure work so parents don’t feel powerless. Holistic Care: Involving therapists, dietitians, occupational therapists, and medical providers ensures that the family does not shoulder the weight of treatment alone. When families are validated, supported, and given practical tools, the entire household can begin to heal. Treatment is not only about expanding a child’s food repertoire but also about restoring peace, resilience, and connection at home. Moving Forward ARFID may begin with one individual, but its ripple effects are felt across the entire family system. By addressing both the psychological and relational dimensions, providers can help transform mealtimes from a source of conflict into an opportunity for healing and connection. For those who want to go deeper, we invite you to join our upcoming training on ARFID , where we will explore practical strategies for supporting both clients and their families.
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